While I am certain this whole sordid affair is just a lark, I must protest these obviously fabricated screenshots. As many of you know, I am the paragon of civility both on the forums and off, and my mellow temperament and wry eloquence have been favorably compared to such historical role models as Nelson Mandela, Jean Luc Picard, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
This sort of thing is normally beneath my notice, yet, I do remember a series of games with this young man, who turned out to be quite the coward. As I remember it, he played like some sort of coal-gas addled simpleton, tanking a game through sheer incompetence then claiming that only luck's zephyrean whimsies were responsible for my victory, rather than my clearly superior upbringing and genetic makeup.
While I may have proffered some constructive criticism of his ludicrous farce of a playing style as an attempt to stem the rushing tides of perfidy and poltroonery, it is clear that my efforts were in vain. I offered him a rematch, but as it inevitably became clear that he would receive the same sound drubbing I had so effortlessly doled out in the first match, he quit the field in shame.
Now, I am no physician, (my own doctorate primarily concerns the erotic sciences, with a minor in procuring), however if you will indulge my amateur diagnosis: it seems clear to me that the root cause of this gentleman's problems center around his being a vagina large enough for Moses to part it like the the red sea. The grand canyon has nothing on this monsterous muff, this preposterously prodigious poontang. Sirs if you ever dared to espy a snatch you can see from space, look no further from this young man, a living natural wonder, the world's biggest pussy.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a #1 spot to regain, lest my sponsors abandon me.
"Take solace in the fact that if I had the ability to kill one person I knew from the internet, it would be you."